Texts From Last Night

Bahaha1204's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship. http://tfl.nu/tvch
  Replies (8) Good night (730) Bad night (3137) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  how high are you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos? (828): how high are you? http://tfl.nu/9z76
  Replies (59) Good night (12144) Bad night (1537)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww http://tfl.nu/e98y
  Replies (13) Good night (3687) Bad night (1112) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers. http://tfl.nu/lte3
  Replies (7) Good night (3027) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  Soup is delicious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup. (1-970): Soup is delicious http://tfl.nu/y0l8
  Replies (12) Good night (4698) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  ew wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed. (763): ew wtf http://tfl.nu/st4c
  Replies (83) Good night (1332) Bad night (8169)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (787): He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him. http://tfl.nu/klex
  Replies (21) Good night (4459) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  therell be strippers and coke right?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  no strippers. just coke.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i hate this fuckin recession

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): therell be strippers and coke right? (703): no strippers. just coke. (202): i hate this fuckin recession http://tfl.nu/1tv9
  Replies (22) Good night (10689) Bad night (2529)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE http://tfl.nu/nr5v
  Replies (5) Good night (1832) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE. http://tfl.nu/kxu1
  Replies (7) Good night (3330) Bad night (1664) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds http://tfl.nu/1rag
  Replies (5) Good night (1145) Bad night (2353) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets? http://tfl.nu/3xr9
  Replies (5) Good night (1694) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener http://tfl.nu/wmbx
  Replies (21) Good night (3915) Bad night (1775) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife http://tfl.nu/h9mg
  Replies (9) Good night (2250) Bad night (1476) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  aren't you going with children?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long (1-414): aren't you going with children? http://tfl.nu/9f28
  Replies (34) Good night (4246) Bad night (1425) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is. http://tfl.nu/mbfy
  Replies (6) Good night (3469) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college http://tfl.nu/rv3o
  Replies (67) Good night (4524) Bad night (1322) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy. http://tfl.nu/hg9j
  Replies (81) Good night (1914) Bad night (4953) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you http://tfl.nu/tpo5
  Replies (30) Good night (13533) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned. http://tfl.nu/elt7
  Replies (38) Good night (2436) Bad night (6066)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  I respect that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice (1-508): I respect that http://tfl.nu/enis
  Replies (53) Good night (9611) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out" http://tfl.nu/bp43
  Replies (30) Good night (9123) Bad night (1070) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style. http://tfl.nu/uhtz
  Replies (10) Good night (4957) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment http://tfl.nu/9rz9
  Replies (9) Good night (4800) Bad night (1702)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed. http://tfl.nu/z4ve
  Replies (17) Good night (4173) Bad night (1760)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp http://tfl.nu/f0ut
  Replies (32) Good night (1796) Bad night (4284) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am. http://tfl.nu/g88o
  Replies (1) Good night (1099) Bad night (2151) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just googled if crying burns calories

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I just googled if crying burns calories http://tfl.nu/qfsf
  Replies (14) Good night (922) Bad night (3312) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers" http://tfl.nu/x36v
  Replies (6) Good night (2606) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (53) Good night (72030) Bad night (2120) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (112189) Bad night (9720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment http://tfl.nu/9t1d
  Replies (13) Good night (1051) Bad night (4085) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  We left an ass print on the piano.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): We left an ass print on the piano. http://tfl.nu/qaoo
  Replies (23) Good night (3824) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  There is a pube in my fucking eyeball

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): There is a pube in my fucking eyeball http://tfl.nu/0eb2
  Replies (15) Good night (806) Bad night (5088) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you. http://tfl.nu/c5wc
  Replies (24) Good night (4942) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican. http://tfl.nu/uy37
  Replies (5) Good night (2654) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit. http://tfl.nu/1d92
  Replies (13) Good night (2655) Bad night (1234) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Are my feet made of real feet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Are my feet made of real feet? http://tfl.nu/dext
  Replies (17) Good night (5585) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis http://tfl.nu/80nu
  Replies (12) Good night (4174) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf. http://tfl.nu/kj2s
  Replies (20) Good night (6946) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now.. http://tfl.nu/77ss
  Replies (10) Good night (944) Bad night (1735) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should. http://tfl.nu/b27t
  Replies (45) Good night (8831) Bad night (2453)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it" http://tfl.nu/tnve
  Replies (40) Good night (5190) Bad night (4957) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN http://tfl.nu/nyld
  Replies (15) Good night (6951) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club http://tfl.nu/6yea
  Replies (8) Good night (5139) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top. http://tfl.nu/w6ft
  Replies (7) Good night (2138) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already http://tfl.nu/q3zb
  Replies (39) Good night (2121) Bad night (4325) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later? http://tfl.nu/a1oo
  Replies (18) Good night (6083) Bad night (871) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon. http://tfl.nu/pj69
  Replies (9) Good night (1117) Bad night (3319) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system http://tfl.nu/i7jp
  Replies (18) Good night (4747) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying. http://tfl.nu/un4v
  Replies (25) Good night (1181) Bad night (9552)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room. http://tfl.nu/9wgv
  Replies (7) Good night (4182) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters... http://tfl.nu/orhj
  Replies (1) Good night (872) Bad night (2516)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow. http://tfl.nu/0mxe
  Replies (18) Good night (1631) Bad night (5232) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis http://tfl.nu/7q4s
  Replies (13) Good night (3433) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing. http://tfl.nu/2fe4
  Replies (18) Good night (2259) Bad night (2698) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish. http://tfl.nu/pnvl
  Replies (3) Good night (3669) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/zq8a
  Replies (203) Good night (40001) Bad night (3192) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision http://tfl.nu/hkka
  Replies (44) Good night (3257) Bad night (995) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy" http://tfl.nu/v0t3
  Replies (6) Good night (4055) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's. http://tfl.nu/yr3w
  Replies (11) Good night (915) Bad night (4199) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1. http://tfl.nu/5eb0
  Replies (46) Good night (1709) Bad night (5608)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed http://tfl.nu/7wu4
  Replies (30) Good night (578) Bad night (3798) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/k2zc
  Replies (13) Good night (3273) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter http://tfl.nu/rgti
  Replies (31) Good night (9132) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay http://tfl.nu/yxo6
  Replies (10) Good night (779) Bad night (4607) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!" http://tfl.nu/94sw
  Replies (84) Good night (13071) Bad night (1527) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/e3sn
  Replies (18) Good night (7239) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her. http://tfl.nu/6ypm
  Replies (49) Good night (17456) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  My vagina agrees.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again. (614): My vagina agrees. http://tfl.nu/ii41
  Replies (20) Good night (6089) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab. http://tfl.nu/smzr
  Replies (7) Good night (1768) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch http://tfl.nu/pswe
  Replies (7) Good night (6741) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it" http://tfl.nu/04ug
  Replies (4) Good night (5368) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done. (1-215): I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together. http://tfl.nu/q0m2
  Replies (19) Good night (4655) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes. http://tfl.nu/cn93
  Replies (3) Good night (710) Bad night (4015) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  porn star boner night. come get it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): porn star boner night. come get it. http://tfl.nu/vz2z
  Replies (5) Good night (2732) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites http://tfl.nu/fquq
  Replies (21) Good night (8734) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"? http://tfl.nu/ubao
  Replies (6) Good night (3736) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge. http://tfl.nu/j5wy
  Replies (8) Good night (4280) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech http://tfl.nu/bl5m
  Replies (25) Good night (4401) Bad night (1223) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve http://tfl.nu/de13
  Replies (4) Good night (4337) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother. http://tfl.nu/cizt
  Replies (24) Good night (1207) Bad night (7072) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized http://tfl.nu/nze6
  Replies (16) Good night (2035) Bad night (3211) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve? http://tfl.nu/wzep
  Replies (3) Good night (942) Bad night (2658) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves. http://tfl.nu/jfec
  Replies (32) Good night (4436) Bad night (2418) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke! http://tfl.nu/q0f1
  Replies (39) Good night (6880) Bad night (1813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink http://tfl.nu/i8us
  Replies (9) Good night (6171) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster. http://tfl.nu/ox02
  Replies (26) Good night (5834) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/rd8s
  Replies (4) Good night (2387) Bad night (1234) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project. http://tfl.nu/6v94
  Replies (10) Good night (3033) Bad night (1190) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight http://tfl.nu/0tps
  Replies (25) Good night (1515) Bad night (5641)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!" http://tfl.nu/l7rl
  Replies (19) Good night (4346) Bad night (1915) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS. http://tfl.nu/26xz
  Replies (37) Good night (9630) Bad night (2025) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat? http://tfl.nu/3sn0
  Replies (93) Good night (1009) Bad night (3212) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer" http://tfl.nu/i0t9
  Replies (33) Good night (8149) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters. http://tfl.nu/h38s
  Replies (23) Good night (2796) Bad night (1648) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think im pregnant

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think you have the wrong number

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I think im pregnant (803): I think you have the wrong number http://tfl.nu/a8yw
  Replies (66) Good night (1069) Bad night (5292)
• Favorite

  (235): View more from

  I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (235): I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/7zv4
  Replies (55) Good night (2047) Bad night (6342) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Are you high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"? (1-630): Are you high? http://tfl.nu/3xxd
  Replies (21) Good night (6439) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
  Replies (206) Good night (51675) Bad night (2730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby http://tfl.nu/8o91
  Replies (87) Good night (10484) Bad night (1792) Order T-Shirt