Texts From Last Night

Texts from March, 2013

• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations. http://tfl.nu/h1dn
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours. http://tfl.nu/36vr
  Replies (4) Good night (602) Bad night (262) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug. http://tfl.nu/t259
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that! http://tfl.nu/zrpi
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight! http://tfl.nu/qi7p
  Replies (3) Good night (519) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance. (1-360): It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot. http://tfl.nu/be8l
  Replies (3) Good night (1280) Bad night (206)
• Favorite

  (+81): View more from

  There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+81): There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there" http://tfl.nu/7b6f
  Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (214)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken. http://tfl.nu/2q6x
  Replies (1) Good night (407) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that? http://tfl.nu/jtqu
  Replies (5) Good night (356) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness http://tfl.nu/sk3k
  Replies (3) Good night (1308) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive. http://tfl.nu/rul5
  Replies (7) Good night (1676) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night. http://tfl.nu/009v
  Replies (4) Good night (363) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars. (1-802): A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning. http://tfl.nu/iq00
  Replies (6) Good night (1356) Bad night (187) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with. http://tfl.nu/jivo
  Replies (3) Good night (468) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard http://tfl.nu/5qs2
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt