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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
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