Texts From Last Night

Texts from August, 2012

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood

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  (612): Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood http://tfl.nu/1at9
  Replies (5) Good night (1104) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?

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  (302): Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech? http://tfl.nu/c3aa
  Replies (23) Good night (779) Bad night (1857) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes

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  (386): I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes http://tfl.nu/04pj
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits

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  (410): I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits http://tfl.nu/1cr3
  Replies (5) Good night (605) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.

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  (303): And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked. http://tfl.nu/770z
  Replies (4) Good night (1523) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad

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  (513): Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad http://tfl.nu/ehr3
  Replies (8) Good night (691) Bad night (1772) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?

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  (412): Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with? http://tfl.nu/cuy6
  Replies (7) Good night (1220) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.

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  (516): The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety. http://tfl.nu/31qs
  Replies (3) Good night (1408) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.

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  (910): I gasped. Both pairs of lips did. http://tfl.nu/2kuf
  Replies (4) Good night (2045) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen

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  (647): You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen http://tfl.nu/up6u
  Replies (3) Good night (694) Bad night (1170) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.

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  (941): Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight. http://tfl.nu/u4mj
  Replies (6) Good night (1058) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.

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  (812): I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend. http://tfl.nu/7cvr
  Replies (13) Good night (1490) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.

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  (610): SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE. http://tfl.nu/afff
  Replies (4) Good night (1310) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother

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  (201): I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother http://tfl.nu/58tn
  Replies (0) Good night (1017) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens

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  (650): Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens http://tfl.nu/mv4i
  Replies (13) Good night (1961) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt