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why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
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