Texts From Last Night

Texts from June, 2009

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  (229): View more from Georgia

  whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says

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  (229): whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says http://tfl.nu/6xum
  Replies (47) Good night (990) Bad night (5257) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?

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  (310): what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'? http://tfl.nu/9kgd
  Replies (95) Good night (1743) Bad night (2976) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.

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  (516): so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool. http://tfl.nu/00u1
  Replies (25) Good night (1204) Bad night (4943) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

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  (516): onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please? (443): he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag? http://tfl.nu/5o6h
  Replies (134) Good night (12907) Bad night (25550)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.

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  (413): I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets. http://tfl.nu/8b9j
  Replies (11) Good night (5070) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just spent $27 on things to pee on.

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  (484): I just spent $27 on things to pee on. http://tfl.nu/pmzm
  Replies (30) Good night (1374) Bad night (3718) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.

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  (732): I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv. http://tfl.nu/27sr
  Replies (32) Good night (1055) Bad night (4072) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.

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  (951): hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit. http://tfl.nu/lqvy
  Replies (22) Good night (3851) Bad night (1179) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!

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  (205): i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL! http://tfl.nu/gtw6
  Replies (92) Good night (1773) Bad night (4264) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  i cant believe jose lima did steroids

  (281): View more from Texas

  apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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  (713): i cant believe jose lima did steroids (281): apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball http://tfl.nu/yhdf
  Replies (13) Good night (1611) Bad night (2104)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  it was like his penis was on wheels.

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  (479): it was like his penis was on wheels. http://tfl.nu/carq
  Replies (13) Good night (3096) Bad night (1039) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.

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  (603): So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find. http://tfl.nu/dz78
  Replies (22) Good night (3184) Bad night (1211) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  ok you need to stop NOW

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  (479): okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters (501): ok you need to stop NOW http://tfl.nu/gm1r
  Replies (46) Good night (1110) Bad night (4000)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.

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  (516): I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen. http://tfl.nu/vaik
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.

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  (253): Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs. http://tfl.nu/k3j3
  Replies (13) Good night (1029) Bad night (3192) Order T-Shirt