Texts From Last Night

Texts from December, 2009

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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef

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  (307): burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef http://tfl.nu/mi4v
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  (661): View more from California

  May God have mercy on my new vibrator.

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  (661): May God have mercy on my new vibrator. http://tfl.nu/qino
  Replies (98) Good night (8377) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better

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  (907): frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better http://tfl.nu/58yp
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?

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  (506): He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up? http://tfl.nu/8v8k
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  (626): View more from California

  you didnt know i had herpes?

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  (626): you didnt know i had herpes? http://tfl.nu/e6ph
  Replies (104) Good night (1397) Bad night (37493) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just found my car keys in your throw-up.

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  (732): Just found my car keys in your throw-up. http://tfl.nu/b21p
  Replies (20) Good night (778) Bad night (8610) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'

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  (253): Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin' http://tfl.nu/fw6c
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  tonight lets celebrate not being married

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  (318): tonight lets celebrate not being married http://tfl.nu/u5lc
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases

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  (724): Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases http://tfl.nu/ns4i
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.

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  (616): I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night. http://tfl.nu/m0ls
  Replies (68) Good night (2022) Bad night (3840)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?

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  (715): so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game? http://tfl.nu/evbk
  Replies (317) Good night (7071) Bad night (1662) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right

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  (732): i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right http://tfl.nu/htd0
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"

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  (302): Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?" http://tfl.nu/v4rw
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar

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  (508): nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar http://tfl.nu/qitj
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.

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  (859): let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break. http://tfl.nu/x35d
  Replies (23) Good night (4988) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt