Texts From Last Night

Texts from August, 2011

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.

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  (541): Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots. http://tfl.nu/feja
  Replies (4) Good night (2848) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it

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  (252): We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it http://tfl.nu/lox3
  Replies (3) Good night (1550) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring

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  (931): Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring http://tfl.nu/mtnj
  Replies (2) Good night (1136) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell

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  (870): He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell http://tfl.nu/ywhk
  Replies (8) Good night (569) Bad night (2526) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.

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  (317): The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea. http://tfl.nu/8y4f
  Replies (10) Good night (2183) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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  (325): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.

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  (325): The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her. http://tfl.nu/fi1h
  Replies (33) Good night (1588) Bad night (3996)
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  (661): View more from California

  We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.

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  (661): We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila. http://tfl.nu/fos5
  Replies (21) Good night (682) Bad night (3547) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning

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  (775): It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning http://tfl.nu/pt0t
  Replies (4) Good night (2262) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well

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  (215): And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well http://tfl.nu/3wlz
  Replies (3) Good night (694) Bad night (1611) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...

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  (705): I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender... http://tfl.nu/gykh
  Replies (25) Good night (2351) Bad night (878)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND

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  (352): I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND http://tfl.nu/oakz
  Replies (32) Good night (1582) Bad night (3337) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.

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  (562): I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy. http://tfl.nu/l30m
  Replies (9) Good night (3173) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.

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  (530): Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it. http://tfl.nu/z6l9
  Replies (5) Good night (2071) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.

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  (717): Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl. http://tfl.nu/lse9
  Replies (8) Good night (2057) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.

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  (573): We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition. http://tfl.nu/1p20
  Replies (7) Good night (1975) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt