Texts From Last Night · August, 2012

Texts from August, 2012

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(207): View more from Maine

The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"

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(207): The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!" http://tfl.nu/cz9e

Replies (6) Good night (333) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc

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(314): I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc http://tfl.nu/aic3

Replies (3) Good night (811) Bad night (918)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.

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(701): She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere. http://tfl.nu/am2w

Replies (3) Good night (2064) Bad night (278)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too

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(317): I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too http://tfl.nu/ini4

Replies (11) Good night (485) Bad night (1208) Order T-Shirt
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.

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(201): Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics. http://tfl.nu/mn0a

Replies (6) Good night (756) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.

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(505): Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got. http://tfl.nu/7wlw

Replies (1) Good night (797) Bad night (391)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends

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(908): Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends http://tfl.nu/ooil

Replies (3) Good night (522) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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(859): View more from Kentucky

If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.

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(859): If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know. http://tfl.nu/ok32

Replies (6) Good night (822) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.

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(513): Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude. http://tfl.nu/aac3

Replies (6) Good night (2244) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.

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(610): i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship. http://tfl.nu/plr7

Replies (7) Good night (994) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera

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(410): I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera http://tfl.nu/vxvj

Replies (4) Good night (956) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.

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(832): No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare. http://tfl.nu/aa8b

Replies (17) Good night (2097) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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(585): View more from New York

He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.

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(585): He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going. http://tfl.nu/c63w

Replies (7) Good night (1419) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
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(704): View more from North Carolina

he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.

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(704): he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears. http://tfl.nu/5pre

Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.

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(512): I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited. http://tfl.nu/hhhk

Replies (7) Good night (2009) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt

Texts from August, 2012

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