Texts From Last Night

Texts from November, 2011

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.

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  (302): seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one. http://tfl.nu/f1ae
  Replies (6) Good night (989) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.

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  (619): I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time. http://tfl.nu/u8ll
  Replies (27) Good night (894) Bad night (3749) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.

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  (619): Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me. http://tfl.nu/2xwv
  Replies (5) Good night (385) Bad night (1854)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

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  (804): I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone http://tfl.nu/9ph0
  Replies (11) Good night (2736) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  no drinking for a week

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes

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  (512): no drinking for a week (1-512): if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes http://tfl.nu/kuw5
  Replies (4) Good night (2555) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.

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  (804): God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things. http://tfl.nu/yy5y
  Replies (11) Good night (2390) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.

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  (760): I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day. http://tfl.nu/8ipd
  Replies (4) Good night (2968) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.

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  (330): Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys. http://tfl.nu/v1x6
  Replies (6) Good night (1636) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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  (831): i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something http://tfl.nu/b053
  Replies (10) Good night (1489) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.

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  (407): My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now. http://tfl.nu/oxop
  Replies (12) Good night (2540) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.

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  (519): It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/mbje
  Replies (8) Good night (2422) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore

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  (313): its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore http://tfl.nu/d5rl
  Replies (5) Good night (531) Bad night (1571)
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.

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  (408): I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night. http://tfl.nu/u07w
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.

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  (217): Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times. http://tfl.nu/ij34
  Replies (4) Good night (2280) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty

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  (408): I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty http://tfl.nu/k1cq
  Replies (29) Good night (1251) Bad night (2435) Order T-Shirt