Texts From Last Night

Texts from August, 2012

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  (207): View more from Maine

  I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.

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  (207): I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive. http://tfl.nu/8kly
  Replies (6) Good night (1068) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs

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  (918): I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs http://tfl.nu/3fta
  Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.

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  (206): I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent. http://tfl.nu/cy1a
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE

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  (206): I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE http://tfl.nu/qqx3
  Replies (12) Good night (2515) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate

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  (856): Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate http://tfl.nu/thdo
  Replies (3) Good night (939) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.

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  (917): KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP. http://tfl.nu/9fya
  Replies (7) Good night (1429) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  That dog was the best thing i ever touched

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  (636): That dog was the best thing i ever touched http://tfl.nu/rr6d
  Replies (8) Good night (745) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit

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  (501): somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit http://tfl.nu/n1zz
  Replies (3) Good night (1171) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..

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  (919): I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number.. http://tfl.nu/y7re
  Replies (8) Good night (1055) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.

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  (780): I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat. http://tfl.nu/b7sx
  Replies (6) Good night (1249) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan

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  (813): I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan http://tfl.nu/4qu1
  Replies (4) Good night (883) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.

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  (775): Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American. http://tfl.nu/e4rx
  Replies (13) Good night (3539) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  DR UNK TOWN USA

  (770): View more from Georgia

  TEAM USA GO AMERICA

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  (770): DR UNK TOWN USA (770): TEAM USA GO AMERICA http://tfl.nu/6sjd
  Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (335)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me

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  (850): Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me http://tfl.nu/sziw
  Replies (5) Good night (1561) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."

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  (705): I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now." http://tfl.nu/lznt
  Replies (3) Good night (1672) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt