Texts From Last Night · January, 2013

Texts from January, 2013

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(714): View more from California

Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.

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(714): Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym. http://tfl.nu/t6kc

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(201): View more from New Jersey

New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole

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(201): New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole http://tfl.nu/gxas

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(631): View more from New York

I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.

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(631): I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping. http://tfl.nu/09a4

Replies (3) Good night (335) Bad night (591)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.

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(908): I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years. http://tfl.nu/293u

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain

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(787): She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain http://tfl.nu/0oj5

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(216): View more from Ohio

Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message

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(216): Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message http://tfl.nu/1r6g

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(417): View more from Missouri

I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.

(417): View more from Missouri

I will make you one.

(417): View more from Missouri

Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it

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(417): I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal. (417): I will make you one. (417): Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it http://tfl.nu/hpb9

Replies (5) Good night (778) Bad night (586)
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(210): View more from Texas

We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".

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(210): We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness". http://tfl.nu/kq4n

Replies (5) Good night (636) Bad night (1098)
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(310): View more from California

We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.

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(310): We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us. http://tfl.nu/nid9

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.

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(603): Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me. http://tfl.nu/xrxi

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(850): View more from Florida

My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead

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(850): My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead http://tfl.nu/ahqq

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(515): View more from Iowa

So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport

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(515): So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport http://tfl.nu/uoc3

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.

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(785): Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes. http://tfl.nu/4ozu

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(516): View more from New York

We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.

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(516): We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark. http://tfl.nu/w4xu

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(630): View more from Illinois

Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual

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(630): Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual http://tfl.nu/4rhk

Replies (1) Good night (742) Bad night (292) Order T-Shirt

Texts from January, 2013

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