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i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Boobs speak an international language.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
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