Texts From Last Night

Texts from July, 2011

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.

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  (913): I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms. (1-913): So you know, I'm making that my facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4s8l
  Replies (24) Good night (7620) Bad night (1054)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i just like, need to vent to someone

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?

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  (910): i just like, need to vent to someone (919): Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you? http://tfl.nu/t3kk
  Replies (14) Good night (2634) Bad night (1781)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying

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  (609): Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying http://tfl.nu/j2oh
  Replies (8) Good night (2740) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.

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  (410): Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate. http://tfl.nu/gqhs
  Replies (10) Good night (1853) Bad night (824)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed

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  (561): Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed http://tfl.nu/ippt
  Replies (9) Good night (2430) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.

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  (269): quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it. http://tfl.nu/uc5u
  Replies (9) Good night (2212) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night

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  (214): Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night http://tfl.nu/b3zy
  Replies (3) Good night (1781) Bad night (693)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.

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  (816): Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples. http://tfl.nu/my8g
  Replies (5) Good night (2031) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.

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  (719): I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts. http://tfl.nu/kevg
  Replies (2) Good night (1808) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.

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  (781): Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave. http://tfl.nu/vplg
  Replies (21) Good night (703) Bad night (5512) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"

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  (817): I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months" http://tfl.nu/023g
  Replies (5) Good night (2118) Bad night (786)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism

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  (856): She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism http://tfl.nu/a0zc
  Replies (16) Good night (1435) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.

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  (510): God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars. http://tfl.nu/alo4
  Replies (9) Good night (2795) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.

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  (256): We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money. http://tfl.nu/cfn1
  Replies (7) Good night (1972) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.

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  (208): the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player. http://tfl.nu/khif
  Replies (7) Good night (686) Bad night (1792) Order T-Shirt