Texts From Last Night

Texts from April, 2011

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.

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  (302): I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays. http://tfl.nu/ol44
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it

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  (215): at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it http://tfl.nu/asrx
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car

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  (412): At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car http://tfl.nu/wr7k
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.

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  (817): Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes. http://tfl.nu/hziw
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.

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  (317): A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some. http://tfl.nu/08yo
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.

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  (704): Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time. http://tfl.nu/8mlt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.

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  (601): Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin. http://tfl.nu/g9sf
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.

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  (484): the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished. http://tfl.nu/p2b9
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.

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  (203): Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor. http://tfl.nu/o6bb
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.

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  (202): Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes. http://tfl.nu/57eb
  Replies (50) Good night (2283) Bad night (5305)
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  (818): View more from California

  I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project

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  (818): I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project http://tfl.nu/g4w5
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.

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  (870): Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships. http://tfl.nu/i0ve
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.

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  (816): Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink. http://tfl.nu/iqnv
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.

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  (662): they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments. http://tfl.nu/u5vp
  Replies (10) Good night (2460) Bad night (977)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.

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  (860): you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you. http://tfl.nu/qv5y
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