Texts From Last Night

Texts from January, 2011

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.

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  (740): I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore. http://tfl.nu/qwh6
  Replies (9) Good night (759) Bad night (2276) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.

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  (518): I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere. http://tfl.nu/r42x
  Replies (13) Good night (1243) Bad night (4346) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas

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  (832): The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas http://tfl.nu/fiou
  Replies (8) Good night (2026) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, its January.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  We're going to do the voices too.

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  (970): We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots. (303): Dude, its January. (970): We're going to do the voices too. http://tfl.nu/k3gb
  Replies (13) Good night (5231) Bad night (706)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n

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  (303): Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n http://tfl.nu/8mzg
  Replies (10) Good night (772) Bad night (4612) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak

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  (217): Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak http://tfl.nu/5n5o
  Replies (12) Good night (2292) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this

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  (315): someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this http://tfl.nu/qf5d
  Replies (2) Good night (2625) Bad night (873) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.

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  (408): we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this. http://tfl.nu/wyn5
  Replies (22) Good night (637) Bad night (3421) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.

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  (816): I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/d5bh
  Replies (3) Good night (2462) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.

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  (425): Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years. http://tfl.nu/f3i9
  Replies (8) Good night (589) Bad night (3389) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.

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  (250): In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room. http://tfl.nu/ux5e
  Replies (2) Good night (2471) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies

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  (214): he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies http://tfl.nu/w2ol
  Replies (4) Good night (3032) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.

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  (314): In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk. http://tfl.nu/6bmy
  Replies (28) Good night (6717) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand

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  (678): Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand http://tfl.nu/u3cn
  Replies (5) Good night (773) Bad night (2211) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.

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  (832): I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers. http://tfl.nu/48lf
  Replies (3) Good night (1954) Bad night (1230) Order T-Shirt