Texts From Last Night

Texts from October, 2010

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.

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  (412): he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart. http://tfl.nu/72dk
  Replies (15) Good night (2951) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.

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  (419): There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume. http://tfl.nu/d17l
  Replies (5) Good night (1912) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?

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  (508): He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig? http://tfl.nu/6st9
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (2661) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it

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  (412): I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it http://tfl.nu/8y6r
  Replies (10) Good night (2427) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am

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  (610): i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am http://tfl.nu/8pmq
  Replies (16) Good night (727) Bad night (2929) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy

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  (973): Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy http://tfl.nu/3461
  Replies (5) Good night (2613) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.

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  (605): For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell. http://tfl.nu/5mii
  Replies (7) Good night (3277) Bad night (1336) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....

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  (832): Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all.... http://tfl.nu/501n
  Replies (3) Good night (1913) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.

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  (402): I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange. http://tfl.nu/kq15
  Replies (3) Good night (3239) Bad night (1075) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"

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  (510): according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins" http://tfl.nu/7zd1
  Replies (5) Good night (4032) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.

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  (724): I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles. http://tfl.nu/o2t1
  Replies (8) Good night (901) Bad night (2325) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just look for the house with the beer knights.

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  (240): Just look for the house with the beer knights. http://tfl.nu/2986
  Replies (5) Good night (2055) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."

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  (561): And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips." http://tfl.nu/kfac
  Replies (6) Good night (2337) Bad night (1093) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."

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  (318): He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds." http://tfl.nu/nj0z
  Replies (4) Good night (2738) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you

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  (570): If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you http://tfl.nu/x3pe
  Replies (14) Good night (3105) Bad night (1195) Order T-Shirt