Texts From Last Night

Texts from December, 2011

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.

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  (720): You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis. http://tfl.nu/1eq4
  Replies (3) Good night (1707) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.

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  (859): I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold. http://tfl.nu/cgsp
  Replies (7) Good night (1263) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.

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  (+44): We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies. http://tfl.nu/dl0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1181) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits

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  (412): its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits http://tfl.nu/0tzr
  Replies (6) Good night (631) Bad night (1265) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.

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  (613): I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party. http://tfl.nu/ibqy
  Replies (11) Good night (2871) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.

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  (281): Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his. (832): I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/5mgo
  Replies (3) Good night (1491) Bad night (551)
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  (760): View more from California

  I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore

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  (760): I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore http://tfl.nu/3q10
  Replies (7) Good night (536) Bad night (1336) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325

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  (910): Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly. (910): im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325 http://tfl.nu/vc15
  Replies (26) Good night (731) Bad night (2214)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.

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  (407): Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition. http://tfl.nu/erlj
  Replies (3) Good night (1324) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.

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  (206): I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night. http://tfl.nu/kkxt
  Replies (4) Good night (1559) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob

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  (440): I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob http://tfl.nu/pg2m
  Replies (13) Good night (2610) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.

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  (806): Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early. http://tfl.nu/6dqv
  Replies (7) Good night (1238) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.

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  (267): I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible. http://tfl.nu/ayl9
  Replies (9) Good night (1829) Bad night (671)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"

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  (770): After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me" http://tfl.nu/acul
  Replies (22) Good night (3276) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am

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  (727): I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am http://tfl.nu/ogdh
  Replies (7) Good night (782) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt