Texts from June, 2014

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• (585): View more from New York

  My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat

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• (516): View more from New York

  it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism

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• (831): View more from California

  I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out

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