Texts From Last Night

Texts from December, 2012

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.

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  (901): I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad. http://tfl.nu/k439
  Replies (2) Good night (674) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance

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  (850): It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance http://tfl.nu/dt1j
  Replies (6) Good night (298) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction

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  (843): No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction http://tfl.nu/q1mm
  Replies (1) Good night (283) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.

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  (814): Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside. http://tfl.nu/5xt4
  Replies (6) Good night (238) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.

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  (678): I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment. http://tfl.nu/mk4n
  Replies (5) Good night (240) Bad night (882) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.

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  (516): People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall. http://tfl.nu/80cl
  Replies (7) Good night (1812) Bad night (369)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit

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  (217): Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit http://tfl.nu/cmoj
  Replies (0) Good night (368) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking

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  (540): I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking http://tfl.nu/y8vi
  Replies (1) Good night (508) Bad night (256) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy

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  (443): I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy http://tfl.nu/5ksv
  Replies (5) Good night (271) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.

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  (208): My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead. http://tfl.nu/asjm
  Replies (2) Good night (229) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.

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  (570): I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/gcag
  Replies (1) Good night (393) Bad night (516)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.

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  (309): I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game. http://tfl.nu/d55q
  Replies (7) Good night (902) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?

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  (301): Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke? http://tfl.nu/hphp
  Replies (10) Good night (972) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life

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  (513): you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life http://tfl.nu/50v2
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you

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  (409): There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you http://tfl.nu/exfd
  Replies (1) Good night (814) Bad night (345) Order T-Shirt