Texts From Last Night

Texts from September, 2011

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?

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  (570): I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to? http://tfl.nu/dwjv
  Replies (3) Good night (963) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.

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  (770): I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration. http://tfl.nu/fur7
  Replies (7) Good night (1629) Bad night (589)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss

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  (727): Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss http://tfl.nu/ms4i
  Replies (9) Good night (745) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.

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  (623): I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me. http://tfl.nu/we23
  Replies (5) Good night (1296) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"

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  (413): I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight" http://tfl.nu/ny0o
  Replies (4) Good night (1353) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles

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  (508): I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles http://tfl.nu/zr9b
  Replies (18) Good night (3301) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.

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  (928): If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself. http://tfl.nu/jcct
  Replies (5) Good night (1187) Bad night (814)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.

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  (402): There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster. http://tfl.nu/rpfq
  Replies (2) Good night (1372) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.

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  (651): Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone. http://tfl.nu/buth
  Replies (1) Good night (1596) Bad night (460)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK

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  (412): THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK http://tfl.nu/h557
  Replies (7) Good night (1987) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.

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  (615): Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities. http://tfl.nu/y5al
  Replies (8) Good night (1569) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.

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  (615): i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at. http://tfl.nu/fdq1
  Replies (2) Good night (1589) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense

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  (484): so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense http://tfl.nu/m14d
  Replies (8) Good night (1791) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.

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  (707): She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place. http://tfl.nu/aqji
  Replies (9) Good night (5352) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.

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  (701): Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual. http://tfl.nu/sj3h
  Replies (6) Good night (1665) Bad night (1190) Order T-Shirt