Texts From Last Night · December, 2012

Texts from December, 2012

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.

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(603): I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success. http://tfl.nu/py46

Replies (3) Good night (667) Bad night (253)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.

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(303): I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION. http://tfl.nu/audf

Replies (2) Good night (1223) Bad night (267) Order T-Shirt
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass

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(336): I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass http://tfl.nu/ok5m

Replies (2) Good night (255) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"

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(502): Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights" http://tfl.nu/0e71

Replies (1) Good night (697) Bad night (268)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.

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(218): my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor. http://tfl.nu/6k19

Replies (2) Good night (810) Bad night (206)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.

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(847): Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra. http://tfl.nu/ud2y

Replies (8) Good night (1025) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt
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(270): View more from Kentucky

My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.

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(270): My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore. http://tfl.nu/ol80

Replies (4) Good night (296) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now

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(604): Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now http://tfl.nu/0ski

Replies (5) Good night (702) Bad night (238) Order T-Shirt
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.

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(304): Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch. http://tfl.nu/jght

Replies (3) Good night (803) Bad night (229) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.

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(757): All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude. http://tfl.nu/k2dr

Replies (4) Good night (1278) Bad night (325)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.

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(919): We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible. http://tfl.nu/ny7k

Replies (0) Good night (630) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
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(952): View more from Minnesota

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.

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(952): WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms. http://tfl.nu/gsmc

Replies (6) Good night (289) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
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(701): View more from North Dakota

New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off

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(701): New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off http://tfl.nu/w6xr

Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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(276): View more from Virginia

Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish

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(276): Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish http://tfl.nu/p7ll

Replies (2) Good night (255) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.

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(908): Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad. http://tfl.nu/akuu

Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt

Texts from December, 2012

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