Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (931)

Last Night in Tennessee (931)

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a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.

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(931): a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra. http://tfl.nu/ga1u

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my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.

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(931): my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling. http://tfl.nu/ym3n

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Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.

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Wtf? What happened?

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Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.

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(931): Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other. (1-931): Wtf? What happened? (931): Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home. http://tfl.nu/q0zo

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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.

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(931): Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex. http://tfl.nu/p49h

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just woke up in my neighbors garage.

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scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.

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(931): just woke up in my neighbors garage. (931): scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage. http://tfl.nu/x40j

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Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.

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(931): Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person. http://tfl.nu/od1c

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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.

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(931): He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man. http://tfl.nu/ct9i

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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.

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(931): drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/1e3m

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I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.

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(931): I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then. http://tfl.nu/2mcz

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don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding

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(931): don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding http://tfl.nu/47j9

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dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.

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(931): dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud. http://tfl.nu/azxi

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My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.

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(931): My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life. http://tfl.nu/ajpd

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she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.

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(931): she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by. http://tfl.nu/75ga

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Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.

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(931): Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame. http://tfl.nu/0khd

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Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.

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(931): Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this. http://tfl.nu/inch

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Last Night in Tennessee (931)

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