Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (906)

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?

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  (906): i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius? http://tfl.nu/ei5s
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I think my check liver light just came on

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  (906): Dude, I think my check liver light just came on http://tfl.nu/539i
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  I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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  (906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon. http://tfl.nu/l4la
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here

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  (906): Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here http://tfl.nu/0qbu
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror

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  its going to be a good night

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  (231): i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror (906): its going to be a good night http://tfl.nu/k4vc
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies

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  (906): Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies http://tfl.nu/62p5
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.

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  (906): I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up. http://tfl.nu/m243
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life

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  (906): nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life http://tfl.nu/phhm
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.

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  (906): Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already. http://tfl.nu/ar92
  Replies (12) Good night (3586) Bad night (1573) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you

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  (906): Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you http://tfl.nu/vgld
  Replies (3) Good night (3311) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Soooo, coming over soon?

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  (906): I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner (503): Soooo, coming over soon? http://tfl.nu/cs7r
  Replies (22) Good night (3301) Bad night (502)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?

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  (906): If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her? http://tfl.nu/jtlb
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor

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  (906): he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor http://tfl.nu/agbs
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back

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  I resent that

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  (989): If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back (906): I resent that http://tfl.nu/qneu
  Replies (6) Good night (2702) Bad night (1439)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?

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  (906): Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am? http://tfl.nu/ceer
  Replies (12) Good night (2599) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt