Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (857)

Last Night in Massachusetts (857)

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seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

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(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable. http://tfl.nu/zho9

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I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?

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(857): I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars? http://tfl.nu/0mdx

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I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner

(617): View more from Massachusetts

you want to re-phrase that?

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(857): I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner (617): you want to re-phrase that? http://tfl.nu/lax1

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So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

And why did you do that?

(857): View more from Massachusetts

Tequila

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(857): So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose. (617): And why did you do that? (857): Tequila http://tfl.nu/gjpj

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we have officially mastered the walk of shame

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(857): we have officially mastered the walk of shame http://tfl.nu/pg06

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I'm glad girls dont get visible erections

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But, it would have made life so much easier...

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(857): I'm glad girls dont get visible erections (617 ): But, it would have made life so much easier... http://tfl.nu/zuky

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You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.

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(857): You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks. http://tfl.nu/io5n

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They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash

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(857): They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash http://tfl.nu/jeu8

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I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.

(1-857): View more from Massachusetts

Doors?

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Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.

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(857): I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now. (1-857): Doors? (857): Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet. http://tfl.nu/ic4r

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Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.

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(857): Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark. http://tfl.nu/cekc

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It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.

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(857): It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful. http://tfl.nu/xfy4

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Sunday is the day of rest.

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As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.

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(857): Sunday is the day of rest. (857): As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest. http://tfl.nu/lma5

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Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.

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(857): Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works. http://tfl.nu/hgbu

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my soul wont recognize me after tonight

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(857): my soul wont recognize me after tonight http://tfl.nu/7s35

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So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?

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(857): So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month? http://tfl.nu/9rfa

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Last Night in Massachusetts (857)

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