Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (775)

Last Night in Nevada (775)

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before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.

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(775): before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal. http://tfl.nu/j0la

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I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.

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(775): I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie. http://tfl.nu/cht2

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So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.

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(775): So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again. http://tfl.nu/ocrt

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FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again

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(775): FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again http://tfl.nu/fzl1

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If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.

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(775): If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band. http://tfl.nu/wzbw

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they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.

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(775): they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it. http://tfl.nu/g3nc

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she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward

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(775): she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward http://tfl.nu/zi7g

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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.

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(775): I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex. http://tfl.nu/bvr1

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It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...

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yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.

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(702): It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me... (775): yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift. http://tfl.nu/mwdt

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I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...

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(775): I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral... http://tfl.nu/9wf7

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You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.

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(775): You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape. http://tfl.nu/xad4

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hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class

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(775): hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class http://tfl.nu/hb3s

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Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?

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(775): Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy? http://tfl.nu/1eeo

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I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)

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Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.

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(775): I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;) (1-775): Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city. http://tfl.nu/zbb5

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A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.

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(775): A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins. http://tfl.nu/j7t3

Replies (23) Good night (4615) Bad night (1035)

Last Night in Nevada (775)

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