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You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
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