Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (623)

Last Night in Arizona (623)

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(623): View more from Arizona

Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.

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(623): Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough. http://tfl.nu/yln2

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Want any specific kind of beer?

(623): View more from Arizona

Yeah. Alcohol flavor.

(701): View more from North Dakota

Got it. Anything but Miller.

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(701): Want any specific kind of beer? (623): Yeah. Alcohol flavor. (701): Got it. Anything but Miller. http://tfl.nu/wg65

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(661): View more from California

aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet

(623): View more from Arizona

And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs

(661): View more from California

Exactly.

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(661): aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet (623): And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs (661): Exactly. http://tfl.nu/5o7t

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(623): View more from Arizona

His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?

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(623): His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me? http://tfl.nu/w4b8

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(623): View more from Arizona

everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.

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(623): everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls. http://tfl.nu/6oxa

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(623): View more from Arizona

listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.

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(623): listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville. (202): Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am. http://tfl.nu/fp1i

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(602): View more from Arizona

So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...

(623): View more from Arizona

What did she do!?

(602): View more from Arizona

I didn't tell her...

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(602): So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her... (623): What did she do!? (602): I didn't tell her... http://tfl.nu/i351

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(623): View more from Arizona

I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.

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(623): I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit. http://tfl.nu/pl0y

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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.

(623): View more from Arizona

Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.

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(602): I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one. (623): Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully. http://tfl.nu/x05a

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(623): View more from Arizona

I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.

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(623): I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take. http://tfl.nu/lajr

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(623): View more from Arizona

she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.

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(623): she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five. http://tfl.nu/kcej

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(623): View more from Arizona

My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.

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(623): My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck. http://tfl.nu/ymmz

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(623): View more from Arizona

Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple

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(623): Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple http://tfl.nu/1j5u

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(623): View more from Arizona

highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...

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(623): highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume... http://tfl.nu/i7v6

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(623): View more from Arizona

I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.

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(623): I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again. http://tfl.nu/xgq4

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Last Night in Arizona (623)

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