Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (580)

Last Night in Oklahoma (580)

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

(580): View more from Oklahoma

Really.

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(918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you (580): Really. http://tfl.nu/kw5b

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You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.

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(580): You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose. http://tfl.nu/41p8

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.

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(580): She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head. http://tfl.nu/4ro8

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I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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(580): I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/vucu

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the snow is so cold on my vagina.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

why do you have snow on your vagina?

(580): View more from Oklahoma

vodka and heels.

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(580): the snow is so cold on my vagina. (405): why do you have snow on your vagina? (580): vodka and heels. http://tfl.nu/uvnf

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I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.

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(580): I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch. http://tfl.nu/axjt

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Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve

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(580): Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve http://tfl.nu/obez

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White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.

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(580): White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy. http://tfl.nu/gb3d

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Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

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(580): Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying" http://tfl.nu/0sq3

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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.

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(580): Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it. http://tfl.nu/0iyi

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I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.

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(580): I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off. http://tfl.nu/wwj4

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I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!

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(580): I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever! http://tfl.nu/u7rz

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Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one

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(580): Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one http://tfl.nu/xo36

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it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch

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(580): it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch http://tfl.nu/2vd8

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And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.

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(580): And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities. http://tfl.nu/eu72

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Last Night in Oklahoma (580)

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