Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (519)

Last Night in Ontario (519)

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and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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(519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap

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i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?

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(519): i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends? http://tfl.nu/08w4

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I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.

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(519): I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that. http://tfl.nu/jia8

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Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.

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(519): Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil. http://tfl.nu/3ein

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What color are my eyes?

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Ummmm... 34 C?

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(519): What color are my eyes? (1-519): Ummmm... 34 C? http://tfl.nu/3v5v

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her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs

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(519): her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs http://tfl.nu/0f09

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Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

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Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

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(519): Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit. (416): Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?! http://tfl.nu/iavy

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my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.

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You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.

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(519): my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar. (1-519): You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make. http://tfl.nu/j6t1

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due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.

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(519): due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron. http://tfl.nu/58sn

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and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.

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(519): and by charming I mean he has a horse cock. http://tfl.nu/nr21

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i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

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(519): i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own http://tfl.nu/ot8v

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When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.

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(519): When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon. http://tfl.nu/7cpz

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Clothes are such an inconvenience.

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(519): Clothes are such an inconvenience. http://tfl.nu/1jcm

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On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?

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(519): On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend? http://tfl.nu/abvl

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I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.

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(519): I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat. http://tfl.nu/eo6a

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Last Night in Ontario (519)

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