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Last Night in Florida (352)

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i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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(352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb

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Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?

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(352): Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house? http://tfl.nu/bc2r

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Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes

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I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.

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(352): Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes (1-352): I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos. http://tfl.nu/ch4a

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we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

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(352): we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark. http://tfl.nu/009s

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The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.

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I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.

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(970): The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency. (352): I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial. http://tfl.nu/wg41

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Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.

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(352): Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa. http://tfl.nu/e1sr

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never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..

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(352): never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party.. http://tfl.nu/fqwv

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I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.

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Just realized these events may be related.

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(352): I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window. (352): Just realized these events may be related. http://tfl.nu/i6sd

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I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.

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(352): I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way. http://tfl.nu/qonl

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The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

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Oh God. You're going to jail

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(352): The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals. (1-352): Oh God. You're going to jail http://tfl.nu/m7qu

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all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits

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(352): all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits http://tfl.nu/ppej

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homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...

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so you did it...

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obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.

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(352): homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview... (1-352): so you did it... (352): obv...but still...it was inconsiderate. http://tfl.nu/j7x7

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I just got invited to go home with a married couple...

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(352): I just got invited to go home with a married couple... http://tfl.nu/0i8n

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I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5

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(352): I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5 http://tfl.nu/tk6f

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What are you doing?

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High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...

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That guy could sell me cancer.

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(352): What are you doing? (352): High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials... (352): That guy could sell me cancer. http://tfl.nu/gkwe

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Last Night in Florida (352)

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