Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (949)

Last Night in California (949)

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Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

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are you seriously doing this over text message

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hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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(949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7

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I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.

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(949): I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird. http://tfl.nu/xcpk

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this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head

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(949): this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head http://tfl.nu/73zt

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Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.

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(949): Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever. http://tfl.nu/rea8

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dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt

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(949): dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt http://tfl.nu/6eac

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I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..

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(949): I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed.. http://tfl.nu/gr14

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Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that

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(949): Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that http://tfl.nu/44ly

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After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(

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(949): After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =( http://tfl.nu/pv1c

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I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

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I gave it to your brother to give to you.

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(714): I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it? (949): I gave it to your brother to give to you. http://tfl.nu/fwxt

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The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning

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(949): The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning http://tfl.nu/sax1

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It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.

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(949): It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time. http://tfl.nu/w76y

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Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way

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(949): Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way http://tfl.nu/t96w

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Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.

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(949): Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off. http://tfl.nu/n7xz

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okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?

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(949): okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong? http://tfl.nu/d7ju

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Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up

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(949): Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up http://tfl.nu/ti5i

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Last Night in California (949)

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