Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (843)

Last Night in South Carolina (843)

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happy early fathers day!!!

(829): View more from Dominican Rep

im not a father

(843): View more from South Carolina

about that...

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(843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z

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got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired

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(843): got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired http://tfl.nu/eibd

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so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..

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(843): so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor.. http://tfl.nu/qi2l

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Dude she let me cum on her face

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning

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(843): Dude she let me cum on her face (1-843): You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning http://tfl.nu/f5g3

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Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true

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(843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true http://tfl.nu/y8hf

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he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

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(843): he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number http://tfl.nu/katp

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so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy

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i am grossed the fuck out

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(843): so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy (1-843): i am grossed the fuck out http://tfl.nu/o4kg

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I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?

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(843): I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome? http://tfl.nu/1lt0

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Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.

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(843): Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place. http://tfl.nu/9vyk

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By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.

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(843): By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours. http://tfl.nu/tce7

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The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.

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(843): The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson. http://tfl.nu/6x6n

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I think im pregnant

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I think you have the wrong number

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(843): I think im pregnant (803): I think you have the wrong number http://tfl.nu/a8yw

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I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.

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(843): I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out. http://tfl.nu/k8va

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At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump

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(843): At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump http://tfl.nu/qbro

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Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.

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(843): Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought. http://tfl.nu/bahq

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Last Night in South Carolina (843)

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