Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (780)

Last Night in Alberta, CA (780)

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Did we use protection last night?

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

Um, no...keep in touch, okay?

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(780): Did we use protection last night? (1-780): Um, no...keep in touch, okay? http://tfl.nu/2myc

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She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.

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(780): She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever. http://tfl.nu/i189

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I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her

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(780): I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her http://tfl.nu/1b2q

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Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?

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(780): Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top? http://tfl.nu/gcls

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

worst lay ever....

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as long as you cum, there is no bad sex

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement

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(403): worst lay ever.... (780): as long as you cum, there is no bad sex (403): ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement http://tfl.nu/cjn6

Replies (32) Good night (551) Bad night (6620)
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We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.

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(780): We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts. http://tfl.nu/8v61

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i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.

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(780): i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself. http://tfl.nu/5eaf

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Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.

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(780): Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube. http://tfl.nu/uqzu

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His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?

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She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.

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(587): His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl? (780): You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus? (587): She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass. http://tfl.nu/i4m5

Replies (68) Good night (2171) Bad night (4367)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.

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(780): he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem. http://tfl.nu/ak11

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We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna

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(780): We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna http://tfl.nu/yjmv

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Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.

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(780): Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah. http://tfl.nu/5le1

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It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...

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(780): It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan... http://tfl.nu/8psb

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So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose

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(780): So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose http://tfl.nu/01tr

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I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.

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(780): I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore. http://tfl.nu/qn6g

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Last Night in Alberta, CA (780)

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