Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (646)

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  (646): View more from New York

  miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.

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  (646): miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god. http://tfl.nu/4rhl
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  My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.

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  (646): My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS. http://tfl.nu/3g6q
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  He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.

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  (646): He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was. http://tfl.nu/uwpx
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  Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient

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  (646): Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient http://tfl.nu/jyiu
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  There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.

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  Your pregnant arnt you

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  (646): There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil. (1-646): Your pregnant arnt you http://tfl.nu/t59m
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  he just put it in my mouth and said "go"

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  (646): he just put it in my mouth and said "go" http://tfl.nu/nvzb
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  i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation

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  (646): i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation http://tfl.nu/0879
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  So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."

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  (646): So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit." http://tfl.nu/5gls
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  we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..

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  you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.

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  nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..

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  (646): we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest.. (219): you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked. (646): nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us.. http://tfl.nu/wc73
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  Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?

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  (646): Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself? http://tfl.nu/aacm
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  its my first week of college and i have a UTI

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  not easy being a whore now is it

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  (646): its my first week of college and i have a UTI (718): not easy being a whore now is it http://tfl.nu/tyxw
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  Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?

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  (646): Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going? http://tfl.nu/kahl
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  I gave up sex for lent.

  (646): View more from New York

  I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.

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  (678): I gave up sex for lent. (646): I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter. http://tfl.nu/87gp
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  in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life

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  (646): in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life http://tfl.nu/n6il
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  (646): View more from New York

  your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today

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  (646): your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today http://tfl.nu/czz0
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