Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Arizona (520)

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes

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  (520): woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes http://tfl.nu/cy36
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  Have you been tested recently?

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  Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune

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  (520): Have you been tested recently? (1-520): Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune http://tfl.nu/i2uj
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  she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.

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  (520): she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce. http://tfl.nu/u935
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  I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.

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  (520): I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock. http://tfl.nu/8w5i
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  There was a lot of him and a little penis

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  (520): There was a lot of him and a little penis http://tfl.nu/hz43
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  she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"

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  (520): she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said" http://tfl.nu/5y3k
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  I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth

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  (520): I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth http://tfl.nu/4taz
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  JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!

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  what?

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  YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!

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  (520): JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP! (1-520): what? (520): YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?! http://tfl.nu/3cop
  Replies (38) Good night (670) Bad night (3960)
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  just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF

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  (520): just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF http://tfl.nu/k653
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  you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.

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  (520): you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him. http://tfl.nu/r7kw
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  he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it

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  im ashamed your my cousin

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  (520): he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it (987): im ashamed your my cousin http://tfl.nu/oj53
  Replies (15) Good night (959) Bad night (3316)
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  remember, YOU ARE A WINNER

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  my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.

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  (520): remember, YOU ARE A WINNER (410): my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice. http://tfl.nu/siqr
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  I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.

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  (520): I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again. http://tfl.nu/aob4
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  I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.

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  (520): I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless. http://tfl.nu/n39p
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  Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.

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  (520): Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today. http://tfl.nu/im22
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