Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Georgia (404)

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  Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

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  Two?

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  Two.

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  (404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf
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  dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs

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  (404): dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs http://tfl.nu/cgkd
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  we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it

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  (404): we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it http://tfl.nu/n2gi
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  three words: i give head

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  three words: not that well

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  (404): three words: i give head (770): three words: not that well http://tfl.nu/mukd
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  No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.

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  (404): No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it. http://tfl.nu/6j8m
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  It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.

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  (404): It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more. http://tfl.nu/2mzd
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  "tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?

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  (404): "tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/cthr
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  He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.

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  (404): He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/81m1
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  hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.

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  (404): hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma. http://tfl.nu/dkbg
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  Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?

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  (404): Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them? http://tfl.nu/hlb3
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  he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off

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  (404): he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off http://tfl.nu/rmt4
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  Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby

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  (404): Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby http://tfl.nu/eqgg
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  I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

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  (404): I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life. http://tfl.nu/huxl
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  He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.

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  (404): He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic. http://tfl.nu/a5vi
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  What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?

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  (404): What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you? http://tfl.nu/4jb3
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