Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (312)

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.

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  (312): I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/iaie
  Replies (44) Good night (1250) Bad night (13092) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?

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  (312): I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse? http://tfl.nu/9r6j
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  Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck

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  Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?

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  (310): Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck (312): Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to? http://tfl.nu/odqf
  Replies (72) Good night (1951) Bad night (9076)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.

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  (312): dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it. http://tfl.nu/1896
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  so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?

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  (312): so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion? http://tfl.nu/og9d
  Replies (97) Good night (914) Bad night (7992) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself

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  (312): if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself http://tfl.nu/z0gj
  Replies (57) Good night (484) Bad night (5868) Order T-Shirt
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  She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her

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  (312): She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her http://tfl.nu/ua6n
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  Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.

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  (312): Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult. http://tfl.nu/eq22
  Replies (29) Good night (1044) Bad night (4970) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.

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  (312): My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger. http://tfl.nu/m23s
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.

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  (312): kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it. http://tfl.nu/8mle
  Replies (71) Good night (563) Bad night (4637)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  it's gonna be a chat room kind of night

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  (312): it's gonna be a chat room kind of night http://tfl.nu/owfm
  Replies (24) Good night (576) Bad night (4092) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

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  (312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4. http://tfl.nu/sr4z
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  Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.

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  ...well that sucks.

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  (312): Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck. (773): ...well that sucks. http://tfl.nu/p9wr
  Replies (37) Good night (586) Bad night (4036)
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  I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.

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  (312): I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room. http://tfl.nu/qbvq
  Replies (45) Good night (1309) Bad night (3909) Order T-Shirt
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  Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.

  (1-312): View more from Illinois

  None of that is ok.

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  (312): Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there. (1-312): None of that is ok. http://tfl.nu/fi6r
  Replies (38) Good night (5413) Bad night (3580)