Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (248)

Last Night in Michigan (248)

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Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.

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(248): Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks. http://tfl.nu/vf46

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SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!

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(248): SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH! http://tfl.nu/111h

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I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.

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(248): I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name. http://tfl.nu/axbm

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I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday

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(248): I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday http://tfl.nu/yta3

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Am i fat?

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Well i wouldnt let you on top

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(248): Am i fat? (1-248): Well i wouldnt let you on top http://tfl.nu/1yk2

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So did the night end well for you?

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I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text

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(847): So did the night end well for you? (248): I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text http://tfl.nu/n8vz

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Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox

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You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.

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(248): Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox (1-248): You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities. http://tfl.nu/l19y

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he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was

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(248): he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was http://tfl.nu/zwm2

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after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup

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(248): after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup http://tfl.nu/a67v

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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.

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(248): the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks. http://tfl.nu/qak2

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Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke

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(248): Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke http://tfl.nu/ag71

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he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.

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(248): he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast. http://tfl.nu/sg9r

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Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.

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(248): Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God. http://tfl.nu/n9ll

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I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.

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(248): I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice. http://tfl.nu/zl11

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i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.

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(248): i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding. http://tfl.nu/2d2l

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Last Night in Michigan (248)

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