just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize