Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize