We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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