I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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