she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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