I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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