at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
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if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
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I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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