Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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