The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
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She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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