You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
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Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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