In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize